Bite Me

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Mar 5th, 2011
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Adam and Eve were hanging out in The Garden Of Eden, when they received a shout out from Lucifer, who was conveniently disguised as a snake.
“Psssst. Hey, sexy lady” he hissed at Eve. “Come over here and let me take a look at your fine booty.
“Eve looked at Adam and shrugged her shoulders. She had no clue what this talking serpent meant. Curious, Eve grabbed Adam’s hand and walked on over to the forbidden tree.
“My, my, you are a fine lady, standing there all naked and such,” said Mr. Snake. “May I offer you a piece of this delicious green fruit?”

“The Creator said we are never to eat from this tree” replied Eve, secretly wondering what this word “naked” meant. She was so new to this language thing.

Adam just stood there. He was curious how this snake could speak, as none of the other animals in the garden had ever uttered a word.

“Oh, that dude,” hissed Lucifer. “He’s such a party pooper. Miss Eve, he only told you that because he wants to keep all of this delicious fruit for himself. He doesn’t want to share it with you and your lover.”

“My what?” questioned Eve. Adam looked quite dazed.

“Just try a bite. It really is quite yummy. Crunchy, a bit tart, and full of fiber,” hissed Lucifer.

Eve looked at Adam, who’s jaw was dropped open in disbelief at a talking snake. She was a bit confused, but very curious about this crunchy fiber.

“WIll it keep me slim? Adam likes me this way,” asked Eve.

“Of course, my pet. Would I suggest you dine on anything that may ruin your fine shape? Just try it. You’ll never go back to those soft, mushy berries.”

Eve looked to Adam, who was so enamored with the snake that he hadn’t heard a word that Eve spoke. Eve shrugged her shoulders, reached for the round, green orb, and…. Temptation was born.

Every dictionary explanation of temptation refers to it in a negative sense. Temptation leads to bad consequences. It is evil and full of untold sin. It lures, seduces and attracts us. It may leave us feeling guilty. It caters to our own narcissism, inveigling us with flattery. We succumb to our guilty pleasures, then promise we will “never do it again”.

But what happens if we disagree with intelligent design and believe in pure evolution? The Creator no longer exists, and there is no sin. Adam and Eve never existed, and talking snakes are simply Disney/Pixar animates.

While it may be true that the BIg Mac that you are stuffing in your mouth may make you fatter, and probably clog your arteries, it’s your choice and your right to dine on what you desire. Those fries may repeat and that shake may bloat, but it sure tasted good going down.

Online porn is harmless and cheating is exciting. Who cares if you can’t afford your car? It’s flashy, after all, and attracts attention. Overindulgence? Sorry, it does not exist in this world. We can do whatever we want. No one is watching us. Steal some cash, buy some crack, who cares if our children eat?

We look in the mirror and admire our reflections. Bare our teeth and take a bite of the world. There are no consequences any more. Just decadent pleasure, wasting our time. Temptation no longer exists.

But, stop for a moment and consider this. If there was no Garden of Eden, sin does not exist. None of us feel guilt or remorse. Right? We no longer need attraction or the pull of seduction, for everything is acceptable and attainable. We are all innocents, righteous and pure. Bloodsucking, venomous snakes. It’s “all for one” and “one for all”, and really, who really cares?

I personally prefer to deal with temptation, as it makes life so much more interesting. What would I do without my “guilty pleasures”? Most likely, be very, very bored. I enjoy craving chocolate, writing of seduction, and sipping a luscious fine wine. I enjoy lusting after various people and things. It keeps me dreaming and reaching for the stars. Temptation also helps me build up my personal will power, and keeps me on the right moral track.

We all need a little good and bad in our lives – yin and yang. Two energies, one bright, one dark, spinning together in an eternal circle of life. Never completely black or white, but a continuous movement of color, like our lives. Temptation is necessary for us to achieve a balanced sense of what is wrong and what is right.

So, think about the apple, all shiny and green, the next time you pause for a bite. You search for the perfect place to plant your teeth, eyeing it with orgiastic delight. The snap and the crunch as you succumb to it’s call…..

Let’s hope that you don’t hit a worm.



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